we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
