I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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