id be glad to
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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