I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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