My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
