Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wish they made helmets for livers.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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