I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
