i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
