I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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