at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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