in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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