i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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