i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She's JV to your varsity
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
