I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
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Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
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I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
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