if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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