"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm sobbing to NWA
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
