i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Buhtt sex?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
