the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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