So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
