Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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