Can Purell be used as lube?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
