Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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