Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
