3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize