Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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