You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
