I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
