Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Pappa wants mamma naked
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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