your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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