Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
foreskin is a definite game changer
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
