I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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