I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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