im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
