I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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