I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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