i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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