Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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