I wish you could order shots online.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
