He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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