Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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