she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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