i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
