Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
