i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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