How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
