can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
