It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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