he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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