rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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