You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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