Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize