can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
