So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
