fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he shaved USA in his pubs
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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