he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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