obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
