I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
