So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I smell like Dick and happiness
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
