Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
