just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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