Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
