ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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