dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
